Mes bons amis, comme jai deja explique…oops I forgot I was speaking to my American audience. As I was saying, My dear friends, as I have explained before my brother Magic, while I love him dearly, is always up to trouble and often needs my assistance. During these cold winter months, a few squirrels have decided to move into the eaves of my house. While I am a lover of all animals (being one myself), I really do not want them in my home. I mean, I have to draw the line here. One night my mother and I listened as these two squirrels ran back and forth across the eaves . The following morning my mother called the Wildlife and Bird Solutions Company to see what she could do about the situation. They informed her they set up safe and humane traps to catch animals and then set them free in a nearby park. We agreed this would be the best solution.
The next day Kirk and Lisa from Wildlife were scheduled to arrive with their traps. As soon as the door bell rang, Magic jumped to greet them at the door. He ran around in circles as if he was chasing his own tail (a somewhat regular occurrence) until the door finally opened and they entered the house. I had to remind him that this was not the proper way to greet company and he better be on his best behavior. I am always explaining to him that this is the type of conduct that forces our mother to always leaves me in charge when she goes out, but he just doesn’t get it.
I escorted Kirk and Lisa to the backyard so they could inspect the condition of the eaves. After examination, they went back to their truck to retrieve four traps. As they set them down on top of the snow Magic went running at full speed after them. Clearly he was after something and I was going to find out what it was. I threw on my mesh dog boots and chased after him. He had smelled the squirrel bait which was made of mainly peanut butter (his favorite!) He forced his nose up to the steel bars of the trap and began licking the bait right out of the trap! Quickly, I yelped for my mother. She came running out but I noticed she didn’t have proper boots on to go sprinting across the snow. She was going to kill him, I could see the look of anger on her face. She sloshed across the backyard as she sank into the snow with each step. I could see the snow collecting in her shoe and around her pants. She grabbed Magic by the collar and yanked him in the house. By now my mother was freezing! The only thing keeping her warm was the steam coming out of her ears. I glanced over to Magic who was standing there wagging his tail and offering a puzzled look on his face. I thought for sure I was going to quickly be an only child, however I will admit I have thought this before and he somehow always “magically” escapes getting thrown out. (I truly believe that is really where his name comes from, for all of you that thought it originated from “black magic”). But once again I stood in shock was I watched my mother’s face go from fury to a soft smile. Wait a minute, was he going to escape getting into trouble again? The bottoms of my mother’s pants were still sopping wet, how could this be? If I didn’t have such an great life I would say I want to come back as a Labrador, but I have it way too good!
Woofcerely,
Bella
After the show was over for the day, I went outside to stand in the beautiful sunshine. As I had just left tons of snow in New York the warm weather felt fantastic. As I was standing there I thought how perfect it would be to be out on the water in Sophia’s yacht for the evening. I whipped out my cell phone and quickly dialed. Thirty minutes later Sophia arrived in a shiny red convertible wearing her Sailor Girl dress with matching 
You have heard a little about my brother, now it’s time to hear my story. As I mentioned earlier, I am not your typical dog. I am quite sophisticated. I speak four languages and I am the brains behind
As the busy day progressed, I couldn’t help but think of my brother Magic. While I am usually plotting ways to torture him, I must admit I could not help but to feel badly that we left him behind in two feet of snow while I was driving around in a convertible and in sunny weather. After all it was Valentine’s Day. So I picked up the phone and called our local florist and had flowers sent to him. It was the least I could do…now back to my trip. After a series of sales calls it was time to set up for our trade show. I had three grueling days ahead of me where I was the going to be the token model. For those of you who have worked a trade show before I’m sure you can relate. I modeled my bow to each person who walked in the booth. My aunt and mother handled the paperwork and worked the sale. I mean who better to sell a dog bow than a dog. After the second day of the show had ended we need to attend a sales dinner. I called down to our concierge and had her make reservations for us at a lovely Italian restaurant a few miles away. I thought it would take minutes to get there, however this is LA the city of traffic!! While I didn’t need to pull out my pistol, I can definitely see why there might be a need to on occasion. We arrived at dinner a few minutes late which left me doing some ass-kissing to smooth it over with the boutique owner we were trying to sell to. We ended up doing tequila shots and closing the deal with a sizable order for bows from the Spring 2010 line.
Only one more day left of the trade show and as soon as it is over we need to break down quickly and head straight to the airport for the red-eye back to New York. I have to tell you 6 days, 10 sales calls, 3 hotels and a trade show later I was ready to get back to the big apple. We returned the rental car and took the shuttle bus to LAX where I had to check two bags. I have to vent here for a moment, who’s bright idea was it to start charging for baggage and how did they come with their math? It was one bag for $20 two for $50. It is the only place I have ever heard of where it costs more for two! I buy tee-shirts on the street, one for $5 two for $7. Now that’s a bargain. But not with the airlines, they are ready to start charging for toilet paper! (Needless to say I was a tad cranky by this point of the trip.)
They are expecting another snow storm for the New York area this weekend. This can only mean one thing…SNOWBALL FIGHT! As soon as it snows, my brother and I go running outside to play. Before I can go outside I need to put on my
Last time it snowed my human brother, Gray, decided to invent a new game, which I was not impressed with. We had received a lot of snow, well over a foot. Before my father had a chance to shovel a path in the backyard Gray opened the back door, scooped me up and yelled “Bella toss” and proceeded to throw me in a large pile of fresh snow. As I landed I realized the snow was above my head and I was not able to make it back to the door even though it was only two feet away. With this, my mother ran to my rescue. She pushed past Gray and lifted me up out of the snow and back in the warm house. After I shook the snow off me I began to get very hot. Not from the heat of the fireplace, but from the steam coming from my ears! How can Gray think he can do this to me? Does he not understand I’m the sophisticated one? This is an activity that should be saved for Magic the idiot! As I was trying to think of a plan to get back at Gray, I noticed he was already outside with Magic. He was trying to bury him in the snow but Magic keep trying to eat it.
